Connor's Story

Connor* shares his story of physical and psychological abuse from his sister, and how it was dismissed by his family because of their genders.

What happened?

“My older sister would pull me around by my shirt collar ripping it until it looked like a rag. She would laugh at me as would my mother when I would scream because she pulled my shirt. My mother would say, 'What's the matter... can't you take it?'

I would look at her foot on my stomach and feel like I was worth nothing like a piece of dirt.

"My sister dragged me around as if I was a dog. She would say to me, I wanna fight, I would become overwhelmed. Then she would grab my hands and do a test of strength with me as hard as I tried, she always was stronger than I was and slowly I would go down on the ground on my back. Then she would put her foot on my stomach in a victory pose. I would look at her foot on my stomach and feel like I was worth nothing like a piece of dirt.

"At times my feelings would become so overwhelming that I would lose control of my muscles, and my vision would start to get dark until I was blind for a few seconds... My mother, father older brother and my sister would sit at the dinner table laughing at my shirt being ripped and so stretched out while my sister would say how I never fought back I tried I would pinch arm but she was just too bigger than me and stronger."

How did it impact your well-being and relationships with others?

"I felt that girls were better than boys and girls faced no consequences when they did something to boys. Like boys didn't matter. I felt like I was alone and that something must be wrong with me for not liking it as I was told she was only 'playing'. I had zero sense of self esteem. I felt like I was dirt to be brushed off her shoes. I became very insecure about how a boy should act and how does a boy allow a girl to do that to him."

*All names are pseudonyms to protect the privacy of those who share their stories with us.