Parents & Families

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Sibling aggression and abuse can be devastating, often leading to long-lasting impacts that extend far beyond childhood. These include:

  • Breakdown of Trust and Safety: Sibling aggression and abuse shatter a sense of trust and safety within a family unit.
  • Disruption of Family Dynamics: The presence of sibling aggression and abuse can create an environment of constant tension, fear, and conflict.
  • Parental Strain and Guilt: Parents and caregivers may feel torn between their children, unsure of how to protect one child without alienating another. The guilt and helplessness parents experience can further damage other family relationships.
  • Long-Term Impacts: The impacts of sibling aggression and abuse can persist into adulthood, affecting immediate family members and future generations. Survivors may struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and relationship difficulties, making it challenging for them to form healthy relationships later in life.
  • Sibling Estrangement: Sibling aggression and abuse can lead to long-term or permanent estrangement between siblings. This estrangement can extend to parents as well, especially if the harmed sibling feels their parents failed to protect them. Family gatherings, holidays, and other significant life events can become sources of stress and conflict for all.
  • Cyclical Violence: If sibling abuse isn’t stopped, it can perpetuate a cycle of violence within families. Children who experience sibling aggression or abuse are at higher risk of engaging in aggressive behaviors in other relationships, including with peers, romantic partners, and their children.

What Can Parents and Caregivers Do?

Research shows that parents play a key role in preventing sibling aggression and abuse and promoting positive sibling relationships. Parents and caregivers can help by becoming familiar with the differences between sibling rivalry, conflict, aggression, and abuse, and by learning strategies to encourage constructive conflict.  Learn More

Specific parenting practices are linked to warmer, closer, and less aggressive sibling relationships. There are several simple strategies caregivers can use to help siblings develop positive relationships and foster a positive family environment.  Learn More

Several cost-effective, evidence-based parenting programs can help parents address child aggression and support healthy sibling relationships. These programs may help you recognize harmful behaviors among siblings, intervene immediately, and improve your children’s interpersonal skills and sibling relationships.  Learn More

Siblings who have seriously harmed or been harmed and their families may benefit from professional help. Therapists trained in family therapy, family violence, and trauma-informed care can help the entire family heal and develop better communication and conflict-resolution skills.  Learn More

Podcast Appearances

This Is So Awkward

"Sibling Dynamics," Season 4, Episode 76, January 2025

Listen here

AT Parenting Survival

"How to Improve Sibling Relationships Despite Anxiety & OCD," Episode 395, December 2024

Listen here

Company of Dads Podcast

"All Siblings Fight. When Has It Gone Too Far?," Episode 128, October 2024

Listen here

SAARA Resources for Families

tips for choosing therapist
Tips for Choosing a Therapist to Treat Harmful Sibling Dynamics
January 3, 2025
Finding a therapist who is knowledgeable of sibling dynamics can be a bit overwhelming. With all the different types of treatments and therapists out there, how do you know what you really need and where to start? How can you find someone who will take your experience with harmful sibling dynamics or sibling abuse seriously?
cover of SAARA Bulletin 9
Addressing Sibling Aggression is Key to Reducing Peer Bullying
August 5, 2024
The next step in bullying prevention is the dissemination of information on sibling aggression and its impacts. Sibling aggression is not harmless and should be taken as seriously as its peer equivalents. Adapting peer bullying education efforts to include information about sibling aggression will promote children’s and adolescents’ well-being and increase safety at school and home.
recognizing and responding to sibling sexual abuse
Recognizing and Responding to Sibling Sexual Abuse
July 29, 2024
The goal of this bulletin is to define sibling sexual abuse (SSA) and provide guidance for parents and professionals on how to respond. Professionals responding to sibling sexual behavior may find their training on child sexual abuse and maltreatment to be helpful; however, keep in mind that there are unique dynamics in sibling relationships that are important to consider.
Promoting Positive Sibling Relationships: Practical Tips for Caregivers
Promoting Positive Sibling Relationships: Practical Tips for Caregivers
June 26, 2024
This handout includes ten practical tips for parents and caregivers to promote positive sibling relationships. Available in English and Spanish.
what is the line
What is the Line: When Does Sibling Conflict, Teasing, and Roughhousing Become Something More Serious?
October 24, 2023
During conflict and play, aggressive behaviors like biting, pushing, making threats, or using intimidation, are common and often considered normal between siblings. This bulletin provides guidance on identifying when sibling behavior has crossed the line.
Resources for professionals and parents to improve sibling relationships
Resources for Professionals and Parents to Improve Sibling Relationships
May 6, 2023
SAARA Bulletin #3. The goal of this bulletin is to provide guidance for parents and professionals on preventing and responding to sibling aggression and abuse and improving sibling relationships.
recommendations for parents managing sibling conflict
Recommendations for Parents on Managing Sibling Conflict and Aggression
April 22, 2023
When children are young, parents can play an important role in managing sibling conflict while helping their children gain social and cognitive abilities. By using the mediation technique explained in this bulletin, parents help children become better able to resolve conflicts with their brothers and sisters.
Disentangling Sibling Rivalry from Aggression and Abuse
Disentangling Sibling Rivalry from Aggression and Abuse
April 8, 2023
Unfortunately, aggression, and even abuse, among siblings are often minimized and confused with rivalry. Knowing the difference is important. While sibling rivalry can be a constructive and healthy part of growing up, sibling aggression and abuse are harmful and require intervention.