Everyone deserves a healthy relationship.
Whether your significant other/partnership is a friendship or an intimate relationship you deserve to feel respected, supported, encouraged, and free in your relationships. Violence in any relationship is never acceptable.
What is a healthy relationship?
- Partners in the relationship value each other’s opinions
- Disagreement is safely allowed and neither partner tries to control or change the other’s opinion
- Neither partner makes the other feel guilty or manipulates him/her when they are told “no”
- Partners accept responsibility for themselves; and mistakes are accepted and learned from
- Boundaries are established and respected.
- Partners support each other’s goals
- Successes are celebrated
- Failures are supported and partners assist and help each other during difficult times.
Trust and honesty
- Both partners trust each other and trust is consistently worked on in the relationship
- Honesty is important and valued in the relationship
- Partners feel comfortable and safe with each other
- Partners are honest with themselves and each other
- Communication is direct. Manipulation, intimidation, and fear are not used when partners communicate
- Listening is active. Active listening requires each of you to make sure that you really understand what they other person says.
- Decisions are negotiated and made together
- Feelings and needs are free to be expressed
- Conflict is welcomed and dealt with openly with both partners seeking a mutually acceptable outcome.
- Each partner is an individual. Neither partner defines the other.
- Each partner is confident in her/his own worth
- There is room for positive growth. Growth is encouraged and supported by partners.
- Independence and alone time is accepted and respected. Having activities independent of each other are valued.
Fairness and Equality
- Partners are accountable for their behaviors and do not blame each other for feelings or things that happen
- Forgiveness is essential and present
- There are no winners in conflicts. Compromise is equal and fair.
- Partners give and receive equally in the relationship. One partner’s needs and feelings are not catered to more then another’s.
What is an unhealthy relationship?
Healthy conflict and disagreements are normal in relationships as long as they can be resolved in respectful manner. However, if you experience a sudden change in your relationship or notice that a pattern of bad behaviors have developed over a period of time you may want to examine your relationship. If you are experiencing any of the behaviors listed below you may be in an unhealthy relationship and want to seek some support.
- Threats of physical violence towards you, themselves or pets
- Intimidating behaviors including excessive anger, throwing objects, destruction of property, hitting, kicking, punching or slapping
- Violation of personal space including violation of physical space (i.e. entering your room without permission, unwanted touching or sexual activity) or invasion of virtual spaces (i.e. checking emails, texts and phone messages, etc.)
- Isolation from friends and family
- Suspicion of your actions, including accusations of cheating and being jealous or time spent with your friends
- Emotional abuse such as put downs, name calling, guilt trips, humiliation, ignoring or the silent treatment
- Stalking behaviors such as excessive contact via phone, email, text or unexpectedly showing up to ‘check up.’
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