SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Dealing with sexual harassment is a challenge faced by many in the workplace, and other settings such as schools and colleges. Anyone can be a victim of sexual harassment -- children, teenagers, people who are mentally and physically disabled, the elderly, and women and men, regardless of race, sexual orientation or economic status.

WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

Sexual harassment is prohibited by state and federal civil rights laws (New Hampshire RSA 354-A and Title VII of the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964) and by many businesses. It can take many forms, including requests for sexual favors, unwelcome sexual advances, or other conduct of a physical, verbal or visual nature which is unwelcome and offensive. It can be a supervisor who requires sexual activity in order to keep a job or receive a promotion. It may come from co-workers who create a hostile working environment by making suggestive or demeaning comments; displaying sexual objects or pictures; telling dirty jokes; or touching, patting, or pinching you.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED?

Sexual harassment exists when one, or more than one, of four conditions are met:

• you are forced to deal with the harassment in order to get an education or a job;
• you giving in or rejecting the harassment is used to decide about your education or employment;
• the harassment interferes a lot with your education or employment; or
• the conduct creates an "intimidating, hostile or offensive" educational or work environment.

WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT AT WORK?

Sexual harassment can be seen in many forms such as:

• whistling or lewd gestures;
• deliberate bumping or leaning against;
• comments about your body;
• sexual notes, phone mail messages, graffiti, or gossip about you;
• inappropriate touching or grabbing of clothing;
• demands for dates or sexual acts, and/or threats if you do not comply with the demands;
• gay bashing;
• harassment through the Internet or phone system;
• sending or leaving you pornographic material; and
• exposure or cornering.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU ARE BEING HARASSED AT WORK?

If you are being harassed, write down the comments or actions made. There are ways to document harassment, such as:

• Say "NO" clearly. Let the harasser know that the conduct is offensive and demand that it stop. Do this in writing if you are uncomfortable telling him or her in person;
• Review the company policy on sexual harassment and follow its grievance procedure;
• Keep a log of all conversations where you notified your supervisor about what happened. Write down his or her responses as soon as possible. Ask a friend to attend the meetings with you and your supervisor;
• Keep copies of performance evaluations and memos that show that you do a good job at work. The harasser may question your job performance in order to defend his or her own behavior;
• Keep a personal journal of all that happens. Each time, write down the date, day, time, who did it, what he or she did and where it happened. Write down how you felt, such as, "I was depressed," or "I was not able to concentrate on my work." If there were any witnesses, write down their names;
• Ask any witnesses to give you a statement, in writing or on tape, of what they saw and heard. Have them be as detailed as possible;
• Save any notes, messages, gifts, posters, answering machine tapes, that you have received from the person harassing you. Even if the items are disgusting or upsetting, it is important that you keep them for evidence;
• Seek emotional support from family, friends, a crisis center advocate, a therapist or clergy. This can often be the most important, and sometimes most difficult, action you take. Some people feel depressed or get physically ill as a result of the harassment.

It is important to take care of yourself throughout this process. There is a law in the state of New Hampshire to make getting help safer for you. RSA 173-C states that information transmitted between a victim of a sexual assault or domestic abuse, and a crisis center advocate shall remain confidential. This information is never given out, unless the crisis center has received written permission from you. This means you can disclose any information about your situation and receive help and support without any of the conversation being revealed to a third party.

If the suggestions above are not effective, you may also:

• Contact the New Hampshire Commission for Human Rights (603-271-2767) or the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (800-669-4000 or 617-565-3200);
• File a formal complaint with either agency. Be aware that the statute of limitations is short. Under NH law, you have only 180 calendar days from the last incident of harassment to file a formal complaint. If your employer has more than 15 employees, it is also covered by federal law. In that case, you have up to 300 days to file.
• Bring a lawsuit against the person harassing you.

WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN SCHOOL?

The federal law Title IX (1972 Educational Amendments to the Civil Rights Act), defines sexual harassment and standards for schools. In addition, RSA 186.11 requires the New Hampshire State Board of Education to protect students in public schools from any form of discrimination, including sexual harassment. Sexual harassment can be seen in many forms such as:

• whistling, cat calls or dirty gestures;
• deliberate bumping or leaning against another person;
• comments about your body;
• sexual phone calls, notes, messages, graffiti, or gossip about you;
• inappropriate touching or grabbing of clothing;
• demands for dates or sexual acts, or threats if you do not comply with the demands;
• gay bashing;
• harassment through the Internet;
• sending or leaving you pornographic material;
• someone exposing him or herself.
  

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN ARE BEING HARASSED AT SCHOOL?

If you or your children are being sexually harassed at school, it is very important to speak up. Find the person who has been designated by your school district as the one responsible for dealing with complaints about sexual harassment. Each school is required to have a Title IX coordinator who handles cases of sexual harassment. If you feel uncomfortable talking to the designated person alone, ask a friend, a parent or another adult with whom you feel comfortable to attend the meeting with you.

If these steps are not helpful, you may also:

• File a complaint with the US Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights' Boston Office (1-617-223-9662);
• File a complaint with the New Hampshire Department of Education (271-3494); or
• Bring a lawsuit under federal law Title IX.

Most importantly, if you feel you are being sexually harassed, do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. Many people hope that ignoring the problem will make it disappear. Rarely does that happen. Because being sexually harassed can often be emotionally damaging, it is important to take care of yourself. For further assistance, contact your local domestic violence or rape crisis center, or the Commission for Human Rights

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

• Know that you have done nothing to provoke or cause the harassment: Know that what is happening to you is not your fault, and is not because of anything that you have done or not done.
• Join a support group: Local domestic violence and rape crisis centers are great resources, and can assist you in locating a group in your area.
• Develop a support system: Keep in touch with friends who are supportive and understanding. Tell someone about each encounter with the harasser. You can call your local domestic violence and rape crisis centers for support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (see Resource Section).
• You may experience stress and trauma, and might want to seek assistance: You may begin to experience things like rage, terror, suspicions, an inability to trust anyone, depression, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, exhaustion, or frequent crying spells. You are not going crazy. Your body and mind are simply reacting to the stress caused by the harassment. Talking to someone who is trained to work with victims and survivors may help you deal with what you are experiencing.

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