DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence -- children, teenagers, people who are mentally and physically disabled, the elderly, and women and men, regardless of race, sexual orientation or economic status. It is against the law for someone to threaten or assault you, even if that person is your spouse, partner, someone you are dating, or someone you once dated (Revised Statute Annotated 173-B). This includes the acts or attempted acts of:

- Assault or reckless conduct (as defined by RSA 631:1 through 631:3);
- Criminal threatening (as defined by RSA 631:4);
- Sexual assault (as defined in RSA 632-A:2 through 632-A:5);
- Interference with freedom (as defined in RSA 633:1 through 633:3-a);
- Destruction of property (as defined in RSA 634:1 and 634:2);
- Unauthorized entry (as defined in RSA 635:1 and 635:2);
- Harassment (as defined in RSA 644:4); and
- Stalking (as defined in RSA 633:3-a).

Abuse or battering is a pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control another person's actions and feelings. The power and control wheel illustrates methods batterers may use to exert power over you. The outside dark area of the wheel is the physical and sexual violence that has been or can be used. The inner spokes or "pie shaped areas" are forms of abuse. Remember, these sections are held together by the threat or use of physical or sexual violence.

The equality wheel illustrates the concepts of equality in a relationship. The outside dark area of the wheel is the non-violence that is or should be used in a relationship. The inner spokes are forms of non-violent interactions and behaviors. These sections are held together by the use of respect, equality and non-violence.

WHERE CAN YOU GO FOR HELP?

The New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (see resources) is comprised of 14 programs throughout the state, which have been established to provide services to victims and survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence and their children. The services provided include:

- 24-hour crisis lines;
- emergency shelter;
- transportation to emergency shelters;
- legal advocacy in getting protective orders against abusers;
- hospital and court accompaniment for support; and
- information about and help in getting public assistance.

In addition to these services, your local crisis center can also help you work out a personalized safety plan, whether or not you are ready to leave your partner. A copy of a personalized safety plan can be found at the end of this section. The safety plan contains suggested tips for taking care of yourself.

There is a law in the state of New Hampshire to make getting help safer for you. RSA 173-C states that information transmitted between a victim of a sexual assault or domestic abuse, and a crisis center advocate shall remain confidential. This information is never given out, unless the crisis center has received written permission from you. This means you can disclose any information about your situation and receive help and support without any of the conversation being revealed to a third party.

HOW CAN YOU PROTECT YOURSELF LEGALLY?

There are both civil and criminal options available to you if you are looking to protect yourself from abuse.

WHAT ARE CIVIL CASES?

Civil cases involve court actions between individuals. Possible civil cases include divorce, legal separation, and protective orders. (NOTE: A protective order is the same as a restraining order. In this handbook, we shall refer to a restraining order as a "protective order.") Regardless of your marital status, such cases could also include child custody, child support, and property settlement. You may also want to look into a tort lawsuit. This is a suit in which you sue the defendant for the pain you have suffered and property damage. As a battered woman, you may seek financial compensation for the damages and suffering you have experienced as a result of abuse.

In civil cases, the court does not appoint a lawyer to represent you. It is possible to represent yourself. In cases involving divorce and custody, it would be better to hire a lawyer. If you cannot afford a lawyer, you may be eligible for help through agencies such as the Legal Advice & Referral Center (LARC), Lawyer Referral Service of the NH Bar Association and/or The DOVE Project. (The DOVE Project can only be accessed through your local crisis center. There are financial guidelines that determine whether or not you are eligible, and you will be asked to answer questions about your finances.) See the resource section for more detailed information.

A Domestic Violence Protective Order is available to you if you have been subject to actual or threatened physical violence by a family or household member, or someone with whom you are a current or former intimate partner. If you choose to begin a civil action, you will be considered the plaintiff; the abuser will be considered the defendant. The following is a list of people who are eligible to seek protection orders:

- spouses or ex-spouses;
- persons who live together now or in the past;
- parents who live with the defendant;
- other persons, related by blood or marriage, regardless of their place of residence;
- persons who are dating or have dated, including minors; and
- persons being stalked (see stalking section).

WHERE DO YOU GO TO ASK FOR A PROTECTIVE ORDER?

You can ask for a temporary protective order in the District, Superior, or Family Division Court serving either the city or town in which you live, the city or town where your abuser lives, or the city or town in which you went for safety. There is no cost for filing the protective order or for serving the papers on your abuser. You do not need an attorney. The process is designed to be readily available to all people who need protection. It is best if you ask for the order as soon as possible after the abusive incident. You do, however, have the right to ask for protection at any time. You can contact the court yourself, or check with your local crisis center to see if an advocate might be available to go with you.

(NOTE: In 1996, a pilot project known as a Family Division Court began in Rockingham and Grafton Counties. In this project, families are assigned to one family division judge or marital master. These justices have been specially trained to find prompt and fair resolution to family issues (RSA 152:1). The Family Courts were granted jurisdiction over the city or towns formerly covered by the District Courts in both Rockingham and Grafton Counties. Records dated before July 1, 1996, which had been held at the District Courts were relocated to the appropriate Family Courts (RSA 152:7). The program is intended to promote public interest and better serve you as you seek judicial resolution to such family matters as divorce, child custody and visitation, child support, legal separation, paternity, domestic violence, juvenile delinquency, child abuse and neglect, and other child-related issues.)

As of January 1995, an emergency protective order may be obtained when the courts are closed. This process can be completed by contacting your local or state police. They will fill out the necessary paperwork and contact a judge by telephone. This is often referred to as a "telephonic order" or an "emergency protective order." If the judge issues the emergency protective order, the plaintiff must go to the court by the close of business on the next regular business day to get a temporary protective order. For example, if you receive an emergency order on Friday night, you must appear in court by the close of business on Monday.

HOW DO YOU GET A PROTECTIVE ORDER?

• To apply for a protective order you can go to the District Court or Family Court covering the city or town where you live, or the County Superior Court;
• Your local crisis center may be able to provide you with an advocate during this process. The advocate will be able to offer you support, and answer any questions you have about the procedure. The advocate cannot serve as a legal representative;
• Once you have picked the correct courthouse, go to the clerk's window and request a "Domestic Violence Petition." The Domestic Violence Petition is an application which will be reviewed by a judge. The judge will decide whether there is enough information to show that you are in fear for your safety;
• On this application, describe in detail the most recent incident of physical abuse, or threat of physical abuse. In describing the abuse, make sure to mention injuries, dates of abuse, hospital visits, threats to harm or kill you, the use of weapons or threats to use weapons, or whatever you feel best describes your fear and the need for protection;
• If there have been other acts of violence, be sure to outline dates, times and as much detail as possible of the other abuse. If you run out of space on the lines provided, you may use regular paper and attach it to the petition;
• Next will be sections asking about your relationship with your partner (married, living together, etc.), any children you may have together or of your own, and where you live. Check the boxes or fill in the lines that apply to you;
• Finally, there are a series of boxes at the bottom of the petition. The statements next to these boxes are requests you may make to the court:
  • For Carroll, Coos, Merrimack, Sullivan, Belknap, Cheshire, Hillsborough, or Strafford County District Courts the boxes are divided into left and right columns. The boxes on the left show those which may be granted today. The boxes on the right show requests which may be granted at the final hearing;
  • For Rockingham and Grafton County Family Courts the boxes are numbered 1 through 13. Boxes 1 through 6 show requests which may be granted today. Boxes 7 through 13 show requests which may be granted at the final hearing;
  • At both District Court and Family Court check the box next to the statement matching your request. If you do not check the box, you cannot get that help.
• You need to sign the Domestic Violence Petition in front of the court clerk. From there, the petition will go to a judge or marital master who will look at it. This process is called "ex parte," which means you are seeking immediate, emergency relief without the defendant being present. After receiving your petition, the judge or marital master may or may not want to see you to ask further questions;
• If the petition is granted, you will receive a "temporary protective order," which is good for up to 30 days;
• The clerk of court will schedule a final hearing which will occur within 30 days of the filing of the petition, or within ten days of service of process upon the defendant, whichever occurs later;
• After assigning you a court date, the clerk will hand you a copy of the protective order. These papers should be kept on your person at all times;
• The clerk will also have a copy of your order for the defendant and your local police department. It is the clerk's responsibility to insure that the paperwork will be given to the police department and that it will be served on the defendant. The clerk is not allowed to ask you to bring the paperwork to the police department for service to the defendant. Under no circumstances should you bring the paperwork to the defendant;
• Immediately upon issuing the temporary protective order, the clerk will fax three forms to the police department responsible for serving the order: a copy of the temporary order for the defendant, a completed Defendant's Information Sheet (on which you describe the defendant so the police know who to look for), and a Return of Service Form (which the police return to the court to inform them that the defendant has indeed received a copy of the temporary order). This Return of Service Form is returned to the clerk at the courthouse;
• According to the law, the protective order goes into effect as soon as it is signed (RSA 173-B:6). Be aware that most police departments will not act upon a complaint of violation until the defendant has been served. For this reason, it is very important to get the paperwork to the police right away. You should call the police to be sure that the order has been issued;
• Any suggestions you can offer to the police when they are serving notice is valuable. Let them know where the defendant spends free time and addresses of friends and family members;
• Upon being served the protective order, the defendant has the right to request an immediate hearing. It will be held no later than five business days after a written request from the defendant is received by the clerk. You will want to check in with your court clerk to verify whether or not the defendant has requested an immediate hearing. However, the clerk usually notifies you by mail or telephone. This hearing may be the final hearing in a case.

WHAT CAN PROTECTIVE ORDERS DO?

Both temporary and final orders may include, but are not limited to:

• Order the defendant to stop abusing, threatening, harassing, or intimidating you or your household members, other relatives or friends;
• Award you custody of the minor children that you and the defendant have together (in most cases, the defendant will still have visitation rights with the children). If a decision cannot be made relating to custody or visitation, the court may appoint a Guardian Ad Litem (see custody section, on Guardian Ad Litems);
• Direct the defendant to pay child support for those children;
• Give you use of the home, furniture and/or car (if the property is in the defendant's name only and you do not have children together, and you are not married, you most likely will not receive this);
• Order the defendant to refrain from contacting you at, or from entering your place of residence, employment or school;
• Refrain the defendant from taking, converting or damaging property in which you have a legal or equitable interest;
• Order the defendant to attend personal counseling, a parenting class and/or a batterer's treatment program;
• Order the defendant to pay for costs caused by the most recent incident of abuse, such as medical fees, loss of wages, moving expenses, emergency shelter, damaged property, and attorney fees;
• Order the defendant to turn over any and all weapons he or she may have to a peace officer (you should list the number, locations and kinds of weapons the defendant has).
• It is important to keep in mind that a protective order is a piece of paper. There is no guarantee that your abusive partner will comply with the orders. Many abusers do, however, respect the court's order, fearing further court action. Even if you have a protective order, it is important to take the steps necessary to keep yourself safe.

WHAT IF YOU HAVE A PROTECTIVE ORDER FROM ANOTHER STATE?

If you have a protective order from another state, you can protect yourself by filing a copy of this order in any District Court or Family Court in New Hampshire. The clerk will then make a copy of the order available to the police. Even if you have not filed a copy of your order with a New Hampshire court, the order is still enforceable by law enforcement. If you call the police to report that you have been abused, followed, threatened or intimidated, be sure to tell them you have a protective order from another state. Your New Hampshire order should be enforceable in other states as well. Also, inform the police department and courts in the other states about your protective order.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO TO PREPARE FOR THE FINAL HEARING?

It is critical that you prepare yourself before the final hearing. Consider the questions below and make notes about anything you would like to share with the judge. Your local crisis center can help you and can help find attorneys through the DOVE Project if you are eligible. In preparing for your final hearing:

• Collect evidence: get copies of medical records, medical bills, police documents, pictures, receipts, partner's pay-stubs, etc. Ask witnesses to attend the hearing.
• Know what to expect: When your case is called, follow the instructions of the bailiff. The judge or other court personnel will swear you in. Hand any documents, pictures, etc., to the bailiff to bring to the judge. The court may supply the defendant with copies of your evidence.
• Describe the incident: First, stick to the most recent incident of abuse. Past abuse should also be mentioned. Make sure you are describing the abuse using a lot of details about each incident you mention. It is helpful to describe the abuse in chronological order. You can refer to your original petition. Some judges ask you to speak only about the statements you made on the original petition.
• Make reference to any expenses incurred due to the abuse: Show medical bills, estimates to repair damages, lost time at work, etc.
• Make a list of your requests/recommendations of the following:
  • do you want custody of the children?
  • what is reasonable child support?
  • what do you feel is reasonable visitation? Think about visitation times: how often, where, supervised or unsupervised. There are a number of visitation centers located throughout the state. For more information on what is available, see Resources.
  • what are your needs? Do you want or need the home, furnishings or a vehicle? Make a note of your needs (within reason).

WHAT HAPPENS AT THE FINAL HEARING?

At the final hearing, both you and the defendant will be asked to state your positions to the judge. Again, you want to be as specific as possible regarding incidents of abuse. Based on evidence presented during the hearing, the judge will make a decision as to whether or not to grant a final order. If the order is granted, it will last for one full year from the date it is signed. If it is denied, the temporary order is no longer in effect. Sometimes, a judge will notify both parties of the decision by mail. In these cases, the temporary order remains in effect until notification is received.

Contact your local crisis center to see if a crisis center advocate is available to go with you to the final order hearing (see Resources).

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE FINAL ORDER IS GRANTED?

If a final order is granted by a judge, you will either receive your copy at your hearing, or you will be notified by mail. It is up to the court to see that the defendant receives a copy of the final order. Under no circumstances should you try to bring the paperwork to the defendant.

When you receive your final order, make several copies of the order. You should keep a copy with you at all times. If you have been given custody of your children, you may want to give a copy of the final order to the principal of your child's school, or to his or her teacher or day care provider.

Be aware that the defendant will need to get personal belongings from the home. He or she is not allowed to come to your home to get these items unless with a police officer. The order should describe in detail what can be collected by the defendant. It is best to leave these belongings alone.

WHAT IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE FINAL ORDER?

Sometimes people remember things they wanted in the protective order, but forgot to ask for at the final hearing. If your situation changes, or you feel a change to your protective order is necessary, you have the right to amend your protective order at any time, even after the final order has been granted. You must make your request in writing to the court which issued your protective order. A copy of your request will be sent to the defendant. He or she will have ten days to object to the changes. If the court receives an objection from the defendant, a hearing will be scheduled to discuss the request and the objection. If the defendant does not choose to object to the changes you are requesting, the court will either schedule a hearing to discuss the changes, or grant them without a hearing.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE ORDER EXPIRES?

Your final order expires after one year, but you have the right to have the order extended (RSA 173-B:4). To do this, you should ask the court for an extension before the original order expires. If you ask the court to extend your final protective order after it has expired, you will have to file a motion to re-open the protective order. You will not need new facts. In either situation, your request must be done in writing. A copy of your written request will be sent to the defendant. He or she will have ten days to object to your request. If the court does not receive an objection from the defendant, your protective order will be extended for another year. If the defendant does object to an extension of your protective order, the court will schedule a hearing to be held within 30 days. Your protective order will remain in effect until the hearing date. It is very important that you review the order before the year ends, as the court will not send you a reminder that your protective order is about to expire.

WHAT IF YOU WANT TO DROP YOUR PROTECTIVE ORDER?

You can drop your protective order at any point during the year that it is in effect. If you choose to drop your protective order before the final hearing, you must still go to the scheduled hearing. When your case is called, you may explain to the judge why you are dropping your protective order. If you choose to drop your protective order after the final hearing, you need to go to the courthouse where it was issued. Explain to the clerk that you would like to drop your order. The clerk will bring you in to see a judge, and you will be asked to tell the judge why you want your protective order dropped. This might happen in the courtroom, or in judge's chambers.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE FINAL ORDER IS NOT GRANTED?

A protective order is only one of the many tools available to you if you are in a domestic violence situation. If your final protective order is not granted, the following options are still available to keep you safe:

• Contact your local domestic violence crisis center. The crisis center is available to you 24 hours a day, seven days a week and can help you make plans to maximize your safety (see Resources);
• Complete the safety plan included at the end of this section. If you are unsure of the services available to you, contact your local domestic violence crisis center to assist you with your options;
• If the abuse continues, record the details of the most recent incidents. Include what happened, where you were, the date and time of the incident, and how you were feeling. Talk with a domestic violence advocate and discuss the information. You may want to consider filing another temporary protective order;
• If your order is denied, and the abuse continues, you always have the option of applying for a new protective order. There is no limit as to the number of times you can apply for a protective order.

Remember, you are not alone. There are other options to keeping you and/or your children safe.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE PROTECTIVE ORDER IS VIOLATED?

It is against the law for the defendant to violate a temporary or final protective order. Any violation is a criminal offense. Examples of violations include, but are not limited to: frequent or harassing phone calls; following you; yelling obscenities at you; coming to your place of residence, employment or school; not providing support payments as stipulated in the final order; or further physical abuse.

Police are mandated to make an arrest in situations of protective order violations. This begins a criminal action against the defendant.

WHAT IS A CRIMINAL CASE?

A criminal case is a court action made by the state against a person who has been charged with committing a crime, such as violations of a protective order or an assault. If there is enough evidence, the state can prosecute the case. This is done at no cost to the victim. If the defendant is found guilty by the court, a punishment (or sentence) will be issued. The sentence depends upon the defendant's criminal record, as well as the severity of the injuries. Sentences do not always include jail time. A criminal action is part of the defendant's criminal record.

Crimes are classified as either misdemeanors (crimes punishable by one year or less in jail and/or fines under $1,000.00) or felonies (crimes punishable by more than one year in jail, and/or fines higher than $1,000.00). Though the process is very similar, there are some differences between the way misdemeanors and felonies are handled in the courts. Misdemeanor cases are prosecuted by a member of the police force or by a lawyer representing the city or town. These cases are heard by a judge in a District Court. Felony cases are prosecuted by the County Attorney. These cases are heard in Superior Court before a jury, after a preliminary District Court and probable cause hearing.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAIL CONDITION AND A PROTECTIVE ORDER?

When the defendant is arrested for committing a crime, he or she will usually be released on bail. If the crime is one committed against you, the defendant will often be ordered to stay away from you. This is called "no contact," and is part of his or her bail conditions. This means if the defendant makes contact with you in any way, he or she will be sent back to jail until the trial.

Bail conditions are different from a protective order. While both say the defendant cannot have any form of contact with you, the bail order does not give you temporary custody, use of the home, or any of the other orders assistance a protective order can award you.

WHAT CAN THE POLICE DO?

The police can provide you with immediate intervention and protection. Call 911 for help. Make sure to state your name and address clearly, and indicate that you want to report an assault. When the police arrive, they should make sure that you are safe. They should also physically separate you and your abuser to find out what happened. The police are expected to make an arrest unless there is a good reason not to. If you were assaulted within the past six hours, the police must arrest the defendant unless there is a compelling reason to not. If it has been longer than six hours since the incident, they must get a warrant to make an arrest.

A police officer can make an arrest without your consent. Once the crime has been reported to the police, it becomes a "crime against the state" and the decision of whether the case goes forward is up to the police and the prosecutor. It is not your choice. You may be asked to testify as a witness. You do not need to be alone during this process. Call your local crisis center for support.

Whether or not the defendant is arrested, there are other things the police can do to help make you safe. If you left home because of the violence, they can accompany you to your home to pick up clothing and important papers. They can also transport you to a safe place such as a friend's house, the police station, or the hospital. Often the police will also help you in contacting a local crisis center for further assistance and/or shelter, or give you the number directly so you can call yourself.

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF THE POLICE DO NOT PRESS CHARGES?

If the police do not make an immediate arrest, you may file a complaint yourself. To help yourself through the court process, write down details of the assault, such as:

• Date and time of the attack, what happened, where it happened, and what your injuries were;
• Police involvement, when they were called and what they did;
• Property damage;
• Names and addresses of witnesses.

Save evidence such as torn clothing, and take pictures of your injuries. To file a complaint, go to the police station or the District Court serving the city or town where the assault took place. Once the complaint is filled out, either a summons will be served on the defendant ordering him or her to appear in court, or a warrant will be issued for an arrest. Even if arrested, the defendant may not stay in jail. A defendant may be released on bail on the condition that he or she return to court for the hearing, or, in many cases, on his or her written promise to return to court for the hearing.

PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN (Print this page and keep it in a safe place)

Looking at and making use of the following suggestions can increase your safety while you are in an abusive relationship:

• I can contact my local crisis center at:
• I will have important phone numbers available for my children and myself:
  • Police :
  • Hotline :
  • Friends, Neighbors, Relatives:
  • Shelter :
• I can tell __________________ and __________________ about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my home.
• If I leave my home, I can go (list 4 places): ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
• I can leave extra money, car keys, clothes and copies of papers with ___________________
• To ensure safety and independence, I can:
  • always keep change for phone calls with me
  • open my own savings account
  • rehearse my escape route with a support person
  • review my safety plan on ________________ (date)

If you decide to end your relationship, the following suggestions may increase your safety:

• I can:
  • change the locks;
  • install steel/metal doors, a security system, smoke detectors and an outside lighting system.
• I will inform ________________ and _________________ that my partner no longer lives with me and ask them to call the police if he or she is seen near my home or my children.
• I will tell people who take care of my children that ___________________ and ___________________ are the only people who have permission to pick up my children.
• I can tell __________________ at work about my situation and ask ___________________ to screen my calls.
• I can avoid stores, banks and ___________________ that I used when living with my abusive partner.
• I can obtain a protective order from __________________. I can keep it on or near me at all times and leave a copy with ___________________.
• If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can call ___________________ for help or attend workshops and support groups to strengthen my relationships with other people.

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

• Know that you have done nothing to provoke or cause the abuse: Know that what is happening to you is not your fault, and is not because of anything that you have done or not done.
• Join a support group: Local domestic violence and rape crisis centers are great resources, and can assist you in locating a group in your area.
• Develop a support system: Keep in touch with friends who are supportive and understanding. Tell someone about each episode of abuse. You can call your local domestic violence and rape crisis centers for support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (1-800-852-3388).
• You may experience stress and trauma, and might want to seek assistance: You may begin to experience some things like rage, terror, suspicions, an inability to trust anyone, depression, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, exhaustion, or frequent crying spells. You are not going crazy. Your body and mind are simply reacting to the stress caused by the abuse. Talking to someone who is trained to work with victims and survivors may help stop some of the symptoms that are interfering in other aspects of your life.

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