As a parent of two UNH alumni, one current UNH student and one student who will enter UNH this fall, I have experienced numerous Labor Day weekend moves to dorms, sororities, and Durham apartments. Living within twelve miles of campus has made only the physical moving of "necessities" easier.
One might think that parents of students who live nearby would have a tendency to become "too involved" in their student's transition to college living. I have seen my students find their own way at UNH, each on a somewhat different path and each with a different timetable. I have encouraged them to make use of resources on campus to help with that transition to the extent that each of them seemed to need guidance (continued parenting).
The wide range of information on the UNH website, coupled with my improved navigation skills over the years, has given me the chance to see many of the offerings available to students. If I felt that any of my college student children needed encouragement to take advantage of positive social and/or academic opportunities I have found myself sending the occasional e-mail, "Did you know that Campus Recreation offers yoga classes?", "I see that the MUB has great movies on the weekends!", "The UNH Wind Symphony has a free concert tomorrow night.", or "The Center for Academic Resources has study sessions for that statistics class you are taking."
Having access to this information has also enabled me to offer, on occasion, to pick up extra tickets to an event so that they may join me. Friends are certainly welcome! Of course I am prepared to hear that the timing isn't right, or for them to have plans with friends immediately following the event.
I have heard concerns expressed about students coming to UNH from local high schools seeming to experience college living as a mere extension of high school. While it may be true that my students gravitated toward those they knew from high school during the first months on campus (they've never had a hometown roommate), it did not interfere with their participation in activities that led them to new interests and friendships.
The biggest difference I see from the time my eldest went to UNH as a freshman, and my student who is at UNH now, is in methods of communication. She did not have a cell phone or access to the internet (neither did we). So, I relied on phoning at a certain time as well as sending drawings and messages from younger siblings via U.S. mail. The relative immediacy of cell phones and e-mail (only the siblings use IM) makes it easy for me to forget that we all like to find a greeting card or small package in our mailbox every few weeks. With this in mind, I recently mailed my son's Red Sox t-shirt to him to wear on game nights!
In my mind, the college experience is one that is not necessarily defined by great geographical distance. We all see our children living away from home, among their peers. We all hope they are making good choices and mastering the balance of everyday living, without our daily input. While I feel strongly that my parenting is not done just because my children moved to college, I also recognize that my parenting style may need to adjust. Overall, it has been my experience that UNH is committed to helping my college students make good choices. |
