Don’t think about doubt, or pout, because it’s ok to be out…
 Coming to college for the first time is a daunting endeavor in and of itself, never mind doing so with the thought of you being the most hated minority. Well, that’s how I thought of it, before I came to UNH that is. Prior to coming here, I felt as though by being a LBGTQ person, I would somehow be ostracized because I am not like the average college girl. I did not want to hook up with guys at frats or get my nails done, etc. I knew that I was different somehow, besides the fact that I shop in the guys section of clothing stores and gawk at sports cars. I knew that I liked girls; however, I was still confused to the extent of how much I did. To help express how I felt more extensively, I had written a poem in the very beginning of my freshman year. It basically describes my distaste of labels and helped me come to terms with who I really am on my path to self discovery. The poem is called “Just Me” even though the me is really representing anyone who reads it.
I’m letting all my feelings out! This is why I need to shout!
I’m just me, there is no secret nor a hidden key
I don’t identify; no, not even as bi
And no, I’m not confused, nor did I ever get abused
I know I like girls; especially the ones that would wear pearls
And this does not title me as a dyke, say that word? I’ll tell ya to take a hike
It can be as derogatory as kike, it’s a word that nobody should use nor like
How could I label myself when most of my friends are men? Granted, when young played with Barbie and Ken
Yeah, I like that song “No Day but Today,” but, that does not make me gay!
Who needs a label? Do we call every flat surface with 4 legs a table? No! Even a hunk of wood gets to be more unique, even though we can actually speak
That’s when the term “fluidity” came about, about around the same time I had more doubt
You see? The label “fluidity” was created due to all of what society wanted, to prevent people from being haunted and taunted
There is indeed, no need, for a term like this to be, where the people just want to be label-free;
People who categorize, are those who don’t realize, the true feelings you have inside
I may prefer girls sexually, but emotionally, they both could be for me
There is no what, but, I am who I am; and you can still call me ma’m
I may dress like a little boy, and still play with toys, that is just me, I still have a chest size of D
You know? I don’t even like the phrase homo, I’d rather be called bobo or dodo
I refuse to call myself “lesbian”, whatever happened to being a homo-sapien?
Calling people who change their genders “he/she’s”, basically makes them sound like a whole new species
We are all different but, we are also a lot alike; for example, how many people do you know named Mike?
The only term that fits everyone here, is the word queer, because; it means strange, which everyone is, no matter how much they change
OK, I’ll stop ranting and raging, just as long as you start re-phrasing!
My experience at UNH (being an “out” individual) has been a positive one. After two weeks of hiding who I really was to everyone in my dorm (scott hall), including myself, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I came to the realization that I cannot change who I really was and I then shared that part of me with everyone around. I have not once had any derogatory comments made towards me or any other of my LGBTQ friends here at UNH. It’s even uncommon to hear the word “gay” blurted out instead of stupid or dumb. After “setting the stage” and coming out to the people around me, those in hiding felt more comfortable with themselves, and expressed who they were more freely.
Just know that you are not alone in this world. There are many people out there who are experiencing some of the same things as you may be. There is a LGBTQ support group here on campus called “The Alliance.” This is a great group to get involved in if you want to make some friends or to just get out (no pun intended). You won’t regret being part of the University’s welcoming and diverse community.
By: Jess Carrigg |
