Students have begun their countdown to Winter Break. Some students are going home to be with you and your family, some are going on exotic trips, but they are all anxiously anticipating the longest break they have had this year. For UNH students, Thanksgiving break signals the beginning of the end of the semester. Students begin adding up class days (10) until final exams and then almost a month’s reprieve.

Many of your students will load up their laundry bags and arrive at your home for the break ready to sleep until noon and rush off to reunite with friends. While some students have already experienced a long weekend at home, for many students Winter Break is their most significant trip home this year. When asked what they look forward to most during break, students’ resounding response is: home cooked food!

After your student devours your food, he/she will often take off to visit his/her friends. This can be emotionally challenging for parents because you will probably want your child to spend some time at home, yet they run off almost every chance they get. One first year student talked about this "division of time."

He said, "I will try to do both when I am home. I will eat dinner with my family every day because that's just something we always do and it's important, and then at night I will go hang out with my friends." He also said, "I know my parents want me to hang out with them because they miss me. My dad told me he misses my personality around the house, he said it's like something is missing when I'm not there."

Your student is at an age where his/her peer relationships are paramount, and it is natural for your student to spend a lot of time with friends. However, students really do value both their family and peer relationships, so make your time count with your student. Establish some meals you will eat together while they are home; not only will they appreciate the home cooked food, but they will also enjoy your company (they just may not say it!).

When asked about any differences at home, one student reported, "My room! I still have my own room but none of my stuff is in there so it's empty and it doesn't feel like home. So now I call my parent's house home, and UNH home. The last time I referred to my room at UNH as 'home' my mom got mad at me, well, not like really mad, but maybe more sad, so I think she takes it personally when I call UNH home."

For college students and their parents this "dual home" phenomenon is the beginning of many changes for them. While it's normal for parents to have challenges with letting go, it's good to remember that your student is very in-tune with your emotional responses to them. They need you to remind them how much you care about them and miss them, and they also need you to support their new life.

One issue students often talk about is a curfew while they are home. One student explained, "I will still have a curfew when I go home. But I feel like because I have a set curfew I am always trying to stay out until the last possible minute, and if I didn't have one I might come home early some nights because, and I wouldn't tell my parents this, sometimes being out gets boring."

It is natural for all young adults to desire freedom, and a curfew is something that some students think limit their freedom. Winter break is a good opportunity to talk with your student about the rules in your house and if any rules will change as they go through college. One student explained her plan to convince her parents to drop her curfew, "When I'm at my parents' I have to be in by midnight, but if I stay at a friends house I can stay out later. In college we don't even go out until 11pm, so a 12midnight curfew is rough. I figure if I'm constantly staying at my friends' houses my parents will miss me being at home and they might give me a later curfew." At college, students are learning critical thinking skills, so explaining your reasons behind the rules of your house may help ease any tension over curfews, alcohol use, etc.