UNH Health Services

Going Home
Holidays or Holidazed
The holidays can be a time of mixed emotions for everybody of all ages. There is not a right or wrong way to feel. Everyone responds to the stress of the holidays in different ways.
Sleep:Are You Getting Enough?
Sleep is a natural part of everybody's life, but many young adults know very little about how important it is. A good night’s sleep is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle.
The Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is not just about good manners and saying "thank you" to others. It is appreciation for what we have in our lives.
How to Manage Stress at UNH
College, as we know, is a time for meeting new people, studying, working, getting involved on campus or in the community, living with others, and figuring out who we are along the way.

GOING HOME
By Heidi Ravina, Intern

I remember just last year, taking in familiar smells of garlic cooking in the spaghetti sauce, apple cinnamon candles, and the warm smell of humidity. I was finally finished with the semester with no more school work left to worry about, no long distance trips to see my boyfriend in Manhattan, no more stressful phone calls. I was home. It was wonderful sleeping in my own room with my own bed. I no longer would have to try to sleep through doors slamming and people talking in the halls, or people yelling outdoors. At first, it was wonderful to spend time with my family, to hear how their lives were, to play games with them etc., but it began to get tedious when obligation set in. All of the sudden, I was the designated dishwasher on Thursday nights. I had to clean up the house when my mom needed help; I had to regain the responsibilities of a household member. Not only that, but my parents expected me to follow their curfew! A curfew?! I thought... I am eighteen-years-old! I had lived on my own for the past semester and never had to answer to anyone. They wanted to know where I was going and when I was planning on getting back... and if they disagreed, they would guilt-trip me into either white lies or obedience. They could not control my decisions, but they could control my emotions.

I took the whole thing as a manipulation. For the first few weeks, I would tell my mom part of a story and then later pretend that plans had changed. One day, I remember Christmas shopping in the Providence mall, which is an hour away from my house, and receiving a phone call from my mom. She had prepared my favorite dinner.

"I am sooo sorry mom!!!" I declared, while silently browsing through shirts at the GAP. "I didn’t realize! I won't be home until late."

My mom was devastated. She had spent nearly an hour cooking my favorite meal only to find out that I was not planning on coming home. Sympathy started to settle in. I started to feel bad about not communicating with my mother when, in all honesty, I had planned on going to Providence the whole time. My perspective began to change. I realized that her possessiveness resulted from my lack of compassion. She needed to know that in some aspects, I was still her daughter.

This may be your first time returning home for an extended period of time. If it is, hopefully these tips will help you cope or change perspectives on the situation.

Understand that you may have changed, but your family probably hasn't. They most likely still live in the same house, with the same jobs, hobbies, and habits.
You may have total control of your life at school, but consider your time with your family as a vacation - you are under the roof of someone else's house and they deserve respect for the rules that they are normally used to.
Your family loves you. They may express it in ways that are hard to understand, but the fact is, they are very excited to have you home for a long time because chances are, they have really missed you.
Here are some ways to deal with the daily stresses you might have:
- Go on a drive or take a walk (see some holiday lights!)
- Do something artistic
- Read a children's book
- Take a bath/shower
- Call a friend
Open communication - trust me, it is better than disappointing them later. Tell them where you are going and when you will be back in case they have special plans, or simply to ease their minds.
Say or do something nice for your family. (It doesn’t have to be big or time consuming. Be creative! This may be difficult if they are not saying nice things back, but it will at least put your mind at ease).
If you have a lot of other plans, make a date with your family for a different night (even if it is simply sticking around for dinner).
Treat your family the same way you would treat your significant other.
Ok, maybe not in all aspects, but think about it. When they are upset, you usually respond and want to fix things. Or even when they are not upset, you want to make them feel good about themselves! Practice the same habits with your family and you will break down walls.
Eat your favorite food (and if that is chocolate, eat in moderation!)
Write down your frustrations and then rip them up!
Breathe in, count to ten, breathe out, count to ten... and stretch
Contact the friends from school who you miss
Plan a fun night for when you return to school
So, maybe you are spending the majority of your time with your family. If that is the case, get out of the house for a day or so.
Visit friends or extended family!
Realize that vacation goes by fast. Enjoy it while you can!

HOLIDAYS OR HOLIDAZED
by Darcy Wilcox, Graduate Intern

The holidays can be a time of mixed emotions for everybody of all ages. There is not a right or wrong way to feel. Everyone responds to the stress of the holidays in different ways.

According to the National Mental Health Association, many factors can cause the holiday blues. These may include, among other things, stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, commercialization, financial constraints and/or the inability to be with one’s family and friends. If you are experiencing the holiday blues, acknowledge your feelings without denying them. Tension may also develop due to the holiday demands of traveling, shopping, family reunions, family issues and extra house guests.

Ways to Survive the stress of the Holidays:

Be realistic about your expectations.
Make a budget for your holiday preparations.
Share the responsibility of holiday preparations and activities.
Eat healthy meals; or if that’s not an option, try to eat in moderation and get adequate sleep to protect your immune system.
If you choose to drink, remember, alcohol is a depressant and excessive drinking will only increase any feelings of depression you may have.
Daily exercise will help combat "holidayblues."
When possible, spend time with supportive people or plan to call someone who will be available to talk.
Take time to rest and relax.
You have probably changed since you came to college and so have friends and family at home. Give everyone time to adjust to the changes.
Work on being honest with yourself and others.
Do something for someone else who has less than you.

Remember the "holiday blues" are often a temporary feeling. However, if the holiday blues do not subside after the holiday season then there may be an underlying issue to address. There is support available through Counseling Center by calling (603) 862-2090.

SLEEP: ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH?
By: Jackie Durgin, Intern

Sleep is a natural part of everybody's life, but many young adults know very little about how important it is. A good night’s sleep is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. It affects all aspects of your day from how you feel, to your immune system, your relationships, productivity, and ultimately your quality of life. Many college students find it difficult to fit the proper amount of sleep into their busy schedules already filled with school, jobs and friends.

Sleep needs vary, but, in general, most healthy young adults need seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Virtually everyone suffers at least an occasional night of poor sleep; however, college students are particularly vulnerable. College students frequently stay up late and get up early and can have difficulty getting and staying asleep. Students can do things during the day or night to get more sleep. Here are some healthy sleep tips:

Set and maintain a sleep schedule. Make sure to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try to stick to the same schedule even on the weekend and when life gets crazy.
In the late afternoon and evening, avoid caffeinated drinks as they will act as a stimulant.
Exercise regularly, but avoid working out at least two hours before bedtime. Doing so can actually keep you awake because your body has not had a chance to relax and cool down.
Try to make your sleep environment pleasant, comfortable, and dark. This can be difficult in college as sudden, bright lights or loud noises from inside or outside your bedroom can disrupt sleep. The steady whir of a fan or "white noise" machine can be soothing and help to block distracting noises, and an eye pillow can block out light.
Your bed should only be used for sleep or sex (if you choose to be sexually active). This is so your body recognizes that it is time to go to sleep when you lie down. Never read or do homework in bed. If you want to read, get out of bed and sit in a chair.
If you can’t go to sleep after 30 minutes, don’t stay in bed tossing and turning. Get up and involve yourself in a relaxing activity such as listening to soothing music, reading, or meditating until you feel sleepy. Remember to try to clear your mind. Don’t try to use bedtime to solve your daily problems.
Lastly, sleep only as much as you need. Although it can seem that the benefits of good sleep are endless, oversleeping can make you even more tired!
What is important to remember is that sleep is as essential to health and peak performance, as is exercise and good nutrition. Don’t forget to take the time each night to recharge yourself with a good night’s sleep. The quality and quantity of your sleep can make all the difference in how productive you’ll be the next day! If you’re having trouble falling asleep, not feeling refreshed after sleep, or suffer from excessive sleepiness during the day, you may consider talking with a health care provider or Wellness Educator/Counselor at Health Services.

For more information on sleep or relaxation techniques: http://www.unh.edu/health-services/ohep/sleep.html or call (603) 862-3823.

THE POWER OF GRATITUDE
By Margaret Cousins

Gratitude is not just about good manners and saying "thank you" to others. It is appreciation for what we have in our lives. Even if everything in our lives is not that great, we can be aware of our blessings - what we have in our lives to be thankful for, both big and small.

Current research shows individuals who are grateful tend to be:

happier
more satisfied with their lives
more optimistic
less stressed
less materialistic
more spiritually aware and more likely to see and appreciate the interconnectedness of life, even if they do not belong to a specific religion or have a regular spiritual practice
in better physical health

Take an opportunity each day to do an inventory of all you have in your life for which you are grateful. It only needs to take a moment or two.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

HOW TO MANAGE STRESS AT UNH
By Alissa Mendes, UNH Wellness/ATOD Peer Educator

College, as we know, is a time for meeting new people, studying, working, getting involved on campus or in the community, living with others, and figuring out who we are along the way. All of these things can be extremely positive in one’s life but also very stressful at the same time.

Stress is defined as the pressures or demands placed on a person to adjust or adapt to the environment. College students are particularly prone to stress due to their busy schedules, lack of sleep or feelings of uncertainty in a college setting. Every year in college is unique in its own way and with that different stresses can occur. Stress is something that everyone feels at one point or another; it is not something to be feared, and it is actually beneficial if managed and coped with appropriately.

You might be feeling the effects of stress if you are experiencing:

Fatigue
Sleep disturbance
Inability to concentrate
Problems with memory
Difficulty making decisions
Problems with time management
Change in eating habits
Mood swings
Feelings of anger/rage
Muscle tension or pain
Digestive problems/nausea
Fatigue
Hair loss
Weight gain/loss
Skin problems
Headaches
Shortness of breath
Increased heart rate

*The goal is not to eliminate stress from our lives (some stress is good and keeps us healthy and motivated), but to learn how to manage it and use it to help us.

HOW TO MANAGE STRESS

Become aware of your stressors (things that cause you stress) and notice how your body responds
Recognize what you can change and can not change in your life
Learn how to effectively express your feelings and thoughts
Create a support system of friends and family members to help you through stressful times
Be realistic about your goals
Don't compete with others
Put the stressors into perspective - don't make them bigger than they need to be
Stop feeling that you have to please everyone
Practice meditation
Try to get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night
Make time for yourself to be alone
Learn how to manage your time
Start moving your body - any physical activity is better than nothing
Keep a sense of humor and remember to laugh
Look at stress positively and as something with which you can cope

Time management is always important; but it becomes even more important as the semester draws to a close. Here are some time management tips to always keep in mind:

Create goals
Create a schedule that works for you
Use a calendar to keep track of all the things you need to get done
Keep a "to do" list every day and prioritize items from high to low importance
Allow yourself "extra" time to do things
Carve out time to study in a private or quiet place
Review lecture notes right after that class
Anticipate deadlines (midterms, finals) and plan extra hours in your schedule to study
Don't forget to schedule time for breaks when you are studying.
Get up and stretch, take a walk or have a healthy snack.
Allow yourself at least 10-15 minutes.
Learn how to say "no."
Commit yourself to activities for which you have time and in which you really want to participate.
Learn to shut off your cell phone, ignore instant messages and avoid your Facebook or Myspace page until your break or when you are done studying.

I know that stress particularly has a huge impact on my own life. As a first year student, I have felt the anxiety of being away from home and learning to adjust to a new place with new people. I have learned that it is extremely important to surround myself with positive people, to make an effort to get involved, stay active and healthy, set aside alone time, and to use effective time management skills.

College can be a stressful place but you can survive and thrive if you learn to manage your stress and take care of yourself. Remember, do not to hesitate to talk to someone (a friend, RA, or counselor) or visit Health Services if you have questions or just need someone to talk to about your experience