Circle of Sexuality: Identity
Sexual identity is a person's understanding of who she/he is sexually, including the sense of being male or of being female. Sexual identity consists of three "interlocking pieces" that, together, affect how each person sees him/herself. Each "piece" is important.
Gender identity
Most young children determine their own gender identity by age five. Often, parents, family members, peers, and the larger culture determine a child’s gender from the moment they learn of their sex. Sometime, a person's biological sex is not the same as his/her gender identity—this is called being transgender.
Gender role
Identifying actions and/or behaviors for each gender. Some things are determined by the way male and female bodies are built or function. For example, only women menstruate and only men produce sperm. Other gender roles are culturally determined. In the United States, it is considered appropriate for only women to wear dresses to work in the business world. In other cultures, men may wear skirt-like outfits everywhere.
There are many "rules" about what men and women can/should do that have nothing to do with the way their bodies are built or function. This aspect of sexuality is especially important for young adolescents to understand, since peer, parent, and cultural pressures to be "masculine" or "feminine" increase during the adolescent years. Both young men and young women need help sorting out how perceptions about gender roles affect whether they feel encouraged or discouraged in their choices about relationships, leisure activities, education, and career.
Gender bias means holding stereotyped opinions about people according to their gender. Gender bias might include believing that women are less intelligent or less capable than men, that men suffer from "testosterone poisoning," that men cannot raise children without the help of women, that women cannot be analytical, that men cannot be sensitive. Many times, people hold fast to these stereotyped opinions without giving rational thought to the subject of gender.
Sexual orientation
Whether a person's primary attraction is to people of the other sex (heterosexuality) or to the same sex (homosexuality) or to both sexes (bisexuality) defines his/her sexual orientation. Sexual orientation begins to emerge by adolescence although many gay and lesbian youth say they knew they felt same sex attraction by age 10 or 11. Between three and 10—percent of the general population is probably exclusively homosexual in orientation. From the pioneering work of sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, we know that sexual orientation is fluid for many people, and perhaps any percentages to indicate a static sexual orientation for most people would be inaccurate.
Heterosexual, gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth can all experience same-sex sexual attraction and/or activity around puberty. Such behavior, including sexual play with same-sex peers, crushes on same-gender adults, or sexual fantasies about same-sex people are normal for pre-teens, young teens, and young adults and are not necessarily related to sexual orientation.
Negative social messages and homophobia in the wider U.S. culture can mean that young adolescents who are experiencing sexual attraction to and romantic feelings for someone of their own sex need support so they can clarify their feelings and accept their sexuality.
Additional Resources
- Resource Library
The Resource Library at Health Services is available to all UNH students, faculty and staff. The library is packed with books and videos on sexual health. - Sexual Health at UNH
Learn more about being sexually healthy at UNH. Great resources on safer sex, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), sexual pleasure, abstinence, and more!
Additional Circles of Sexuality
Material adapted from: Life Planning Education, a comprehensive sex education curriculum. Washington, DC: Advocates for Youth in press.
