Masturbation: An Act of Self-Love
Peter Welch, M.A.
Wellness Educator/Counselor
UNH Health Services
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." -- Woody Allen
Some of us grew up within an environment where we were encouraged to learn about our bodies. This atmosphere included learning about how to bring sexual pleasure to ourselves through masturbation. Others of us were given negative messages about sexual pleasure of any kind. We were taught that masturbation was wrong, shameful, or even harmful to ourselves. The rest of us probably grew up in environments where very little information was shared and minimal discussion occurred about what makes our sexual selves tick.
Depending on your gender, you may have received very different messages about masturbation. Men and women, in general, receive conflicting and contrasting messages about sex and sexuality. Women are often taught to feel shame or guilt about sexual pleasure, including masturbation. Often, women are also taught to believe that they are sexually inadequate if they can not be sexually fulfilled (achieve orgasm) with a (male) partner. Men, on the other hand, generally receive more positive and affirming messages about sex and sexuality in general, and masturbation in particular.
Here are some thoughts to counter those messages that may have left you feeling confused or ashamed about sexual self-pleasure.
Whether or not you are with a partner, Masturbation is a healthy form of sexual self-expression. It is the exploration and enjoyment of your own body, and is one of the most fundamental pleasures you will ever experience. Whatever your gender, masturbation allows you to learn about and enjoy your body. Masturbation is also the best way to develop sexual self-knowledge, learning about the ways that bring sexual pleasure to your body, mind and spirit. Knowing what feels good also enables you to communicate that knowledge to a sexual partner.
Masturbation is a healthy way to embrace our emotional and sexual feelings. It is an expression of care and love for ourselves, a practice of self-loving you might say. You might even think about masturbation as the foundation of your entire sexuality. For many, according to researchers, masturbation may also decrease stress, increase relaxation, and help you sleep better. Masturbation is also the safest sex around. It provides you with one hundred percent protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
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