Sexuality Lifeline Meditation
This is a great exercise that you can do with a partner or friend. First, create a quiet, peaceful space. Then, have your partner or friend read the following, in a slow, meditative manner. After the reading, take time to write down thoughts or feelings that arose. You might also want to be creative with various art forms as an expression of your sexuality lifeline.
Imagine your home as a child. What was it like? Who were your friends? Try to remember the first time you took a bath. The first time you noticed that parts of your body felt good to be touched. Remember when you first learned that your body was different from that of a boy's/girl's. Remember the first time you played doctor. Your earliest impressions of sex. Did your family discuss sex? Did you ever notice your parents being sexual, having sex?
When did you sense that boys and girls were different? How did you discover this? What messages were you sent when you were young about what girls are and do and what boys are and do? Who were your roles models? Why?
Think about how you felt as your body began to change. What changes did you like? What changes concerned you? Were you one of the first in your group to go through puberty? The last? How did that feel? What was your first crush like? Your first date? Have you ever masturbated? If so, what was the first time like?
Bring yourself back to your teenage years. What was life like? What did you think about? What were your summers like? Were you popular in high school? Where did you get information about sex? Did you struggle with your sexual identity or orientation? How did that feel? If you had sex in high school, what was that experience like? Did you talk about it with your partner? How did the experience of sex feel to you, to your partner? What was it like to use protection, or not use protection? When you didn't have sex in high school, did you fantasize about it? Did you feel different not being sexually active?
How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about who you are as women, a man?
What has your college experience been like? Are your closest friends men or women? Why? Have you had sexual experiences? What have good sexual experiences been like? What about difficult ones? What type of sexual behavior or activity do you enjoy, would like to try, are uncomfortable with? Why? If you haven't had sex, think about what you would like it to be like. If you have had sex, think about what you would like for the future. What do you like to do after love making?
Remember the first time you met a gay man, a lesbian, and a bisexual person. What was that experience like? Have you had close relationships with a lesbian, gay man or bisexual person? Try to recall any homosexual fantasies you may have had. How do you feel about homosexuality now?
Remember the first time you met someone with a different ability. What was that like? Did you imagine this person as being asexual? Why?
Where are you now in regard to sexuality? What about your sexuality makes you feel good? What about your sexuality makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable?
Think about your sexuality in the future. Imagine sharing your life with someone. Will you live with someone? Stay single? Get married? Will you want children?
How will your sexuality continue to change? Think about your sexuality when you are much older? What will sexual experience be like when you are 50, 60, 70, or 80? What will it feel like to be older, to be sexual?
Now let your mind wander through time from your earliest memories through the present. To the future, and back again. What is your ideal of sexuality and sexual experience?
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