The Integrity of Sex
By the time most of you have arrived at UNH, you’ve had at least one sexual experience with another person. For many, developing an understanding of what and who brings you sexual pleasure is an important aspect of becoming a healthy adult. You are also living in a time where access to information about sex and sexuality is, literally, at your fingertips. Information about safer sex practices is everywhere and these iconic messages have been permanently imprinted in your psyches. Unfortunately, many of you haven’t been paying attention.
Sexually Transmitted Infections, or STIs, are the underbelly of unprotected sex. The highest rates of STIs in the U.S. are among adolescents and young adults (that’s YOU!). One in four college students has either been infected with an STI or transmitted an STI to a sexual partner.
About STIs
STIs are generally either bacterial or viral.
- Bacterial STIs (chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are the most common) are relatively easy to treat, and cure (when they are detected).
- Viral STIs (HPV or human papilloma virus and genital warts, herpes, hepatitis, and HIV are the most common), are sometimes more difficult to detect and treat, and are not curable.
When any STI is left undetected, it can cause serious illness and sometimes permanent damage to sexual and reproductive organs.
Preventing STIs
Although you have probably received accurate facts and information about protecting yourself from STIs, many of you aren’t practicing what you know. Here are factors that may contributing to this disconnect:
- Gender socialization
Women, men, and transgender folks often receive different messages about what it means to be sexual and a relationship with another person. Communication styles that are based on gender are often imprinted from an early age and socially scripted. - Alcohol and other drugs
They are a social lubricant but not a sexual one. Excessive use of alcohol and other drugs causes you to lower your inhibitions which may result in having sex with someone you normally wouldn’t, not using protection or not using protection correctly.
P.S. to men: Alcohol is a depressant, which may make it difficult to get and maintain an erection during sex. - Self-esteem
Some of you will have sex with someone just because you were asked, not necessarily because you want to or are emotionally ready to have sex with another person. You succumb to peer pressure and fear of being rejected if you say no to sex. - Negotiation skills
Bringing up the subject of sexual protection is very difficult for many. Taking the initiative in either use a condom or dental dam or asking your partner to use a condom or dental dam takes courage, good self-esteem, and accurate knowledge on the effective use of condoms and dental dams. - Denial
As young adults, you are likely to have more sexual partners, shorter relationships, and use condoms and dental dams less often than people over 25. You are also less likely to perceive yourself at risk for anything, including STIs - Monogamy
You and your partner may have very different ideas of what it means to be in a mutually monogamous relationship. This is when open, honest, and direct communication is essential. Putting your partner at risk for STIs because you are having sex with someone outside of the relationship (without their knowledge) lacks integrity. - Pregnancy vs. STI protection
Many heterosexual couples, either initially or eventually, choose not to use condoms if the female partner is using hormonal contraception (the pill, the patch, the ring) or other forms of birth control. Remember, contraception does not protect against STIs.
A Few Reminders about STIs
- Although condoms and dental dams provide excellent protection against STIs, they will not protect areas of the body not covered by the condom or dental dam where physical contact is made with an STIs.
- Many people will show no signs or symptoms of an STIs. If you have had sex with another person who has had sex with another person, without using protection, consider yourself at risk for an STIs.
- Early detection will provide you with the best chance of successfully treating STIs. Most STIs examinations are simple and may include a physical assessment of the genital area, a swab of the tissue around the genital area, and/or blood and urine tests. Painless, quick, and worth your time.
- Stigma. Take the “gma” out of “sti.” Having an STI is NOT a moral issue. It’s a health issue. Try to avoid feeling bad or ashamed about getting an STI from someone. The most important things to do now are 1. Get treated and 2. Protect current and future partners.
- Speak frankly and openly with your medical provider about your sex life and any sexual health concerns that you may have. Clear communication will help your provider give you the best possible medical care.
- Find ways to balance information with intuition and emotion. Try not to let fear of contracting STIs interfere with your desire to be sexual with another person. Understand that every choice involves some sort of positive or negative consequence.
- Preventing STIs is SO MUCH EASIER than treating and dealing with STIs.
Putting Knowledge into Action
You are at an exciting time in your life, where you are defining who you are, on your own terms. This means understanding yourself and what makes you tick. It also means learning how to interact with others in ways that are good and respectful, nourishing and fulfilling.
Consider asking yourself these questions:
- What do I value?
- How do I want to be treated by others?
- In what ways do I care for myself?
- In what ways do I care for others?
- What brings meaning into my life?
- When, how, and why do I put myself at emotional and sexual risk?
- How have I learned to communicate with others about who I am as a person?
- Is my inside (who I believe I am) consistent with my outside (who others believe I am)?
- How you answer these questions will tell you a great deal about who you are and who you are becoming in the world.
Who knew getting to know yourself could help protect you from getting an STIs?
