On the Spirit of Men
by Larry Brickner-Wood
Chaplain and Executive Director of the United Campus Ministry to UNH
The Waysmeet Center, 15 Mill Road, Durham, NH
I have been grappling with the concept and notion of “men’s spirituality” for quite some time. In many ways, I believe that each one of us, regardless of gender or other distinct characteristics, has a spirituality that is ours to explore, whether we choose to or not. Our genders, like our race, color, sexual orientation and the like, are only elements of who we are, and not the sum total of our humanity. Yet, there is something inherently compelling about the notion of a spirituality of men, in large part because we as men have caused, and are causing, so much pain and anguish in the world.
We have a world where violence seems to be the norm, not the exception. We have spectacular and horrible school shootings where young males are killing other people, girls and boys, men and women, of all ages, colors, sexual orientations and ideological and theological beliefs. We have brutal and viscous sexual assaults on females of all ages and on males and females who do not fall into the category of heterosexual, committed most predominately by males.
Many of my brothers, of all colors, races and beliefs, reach out to the world in violence and anger. Others numb themselves with one form of addiction or another, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, consumption or skewed forms of voyeurism. Still others grapple with depression, narcissism, emotional withdrawal or deep anger that transcends any simple explanation.
I cannot help believing that much of this is because we, my male brothers and I, have lost our connection to our spiritual natures. We have lost a sense and relationship with the Spirit that connects and runs through all of life. In recent times one group or movement or another has emerged that seems to unite certain men, but these groups or movements invariably take us backward in time, rather than forward, to old ways of being and relating that can be considered misogynist, racist, sexist, and homophobic.
But I sense that a new era of men’s spirituality is emerging. In working with boys and men over the years, I see a deep longing for spiritual connections. Many men are not happy or content with the way things are or seem to be, and cannot accept the boxes that this culture attempts to place them in. They are seeking, and in some cases crying out for, new ways of being. They are searching for new ways that embrace all aspects of their being, male and female, friend and lover, gentle and strong, firm and sensitive. They are looking to connect with the Spirit in every aspect of their lives, and to find and explore the Spirit that breathes life into their own beings, their brothers and sisters in this world, and the whole of creation.
For many men, this journey into the spiritual realm is new and frightening. It can be lonely and challenging. This journey is often not supported by our modern culture or even by family, friends or community. But many men are committed to making the journey, because we cannot go back, we cannot stand still, and we cannot continue to live in a world of violence and anger, hatred and prejudice, discord and confrontation. The Spirit that breathes life into us and connects us to each other whispers softly to us that there is more for us to learn. We only need to follow.
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